Adopting a child

Adoption is a way of providing a new family for children who cannot be brought up by their own parents. It's a legal procedure in which all the parental responsibility is transferred to the adopters. Once an adoption order has been granted it can't be reversed except in extremely rare circumstances. An adopted child loses all legal ties with their first mother and father (the "birth parents") and becomes a full member of the new family, usually taking the family's name.

What is the difference between adoption and fostering?

Foster carers share the responsibility for the child with a local authority and the child's parents. Fostering is usually a temporary arrangement, though sometimes foster care may be the plan until the child grows up. This longterm or "permanent" fostering cannot provide the same legal security as adoption for either the child or the foster family but it may be the right plan for some children.

Who are the children who need adopting?

There are around 4,000 children across the UK needing adoption every year. These children are from a great variety of ethnic and religious backgrounds. Many of these children are of school age and over half of them are in groups of brothers and sisters who need to be placed together.
There are disabled children and children whose future development is unclear - see our advice note Meeting Children's Needs for more details (our Opening Doors project may also be of interest). Or read articles from Be My Parent about caring for children with special needs.
Some children will have been abused and/or neglected and all will have experienced moves and uncertainty and their resulting behaviour may be challenging.

Who can adopt?

• You have to be over 21, happy to make space in your life and home for a child, patient, flexible and energetic, and determined to make a real difference to a child’s life, for a lifetime.
• Some people think about adoption but never look into it further – possibly because they are over 40 and think they’ll be ruled out. But they are wrong, there is no upper age limit. Agencies are looking for adopters who have the physical and mental energy to care for demanding children, and whose lifestyle suggests they will still have that energy when the child is a teenager, or young adult. Older children are among those children who wait the longest so adoption agencies are keen to hear from people who can give a permanent and loving home to an older child.
• A record of offences will need to be carefully looked into but, apart from some offences against children, will not necessarily rule someone out.
• Everyone has to have a medical examination and health issues will need to be explored.
• People from all ethnic origins and religions can adopt. Ideally, a new family should meet all a child’s emotional, identity, health and development needs. In BAAF’s view, practice experience indicates that children do best when brought up in a family that reflects their ethnic and racial identity as closely as possible. In part, this is informed by reports from black and minority ethnic adopted adults who grew up with families who did not match their ethnic and racial identity, describing difficulties in belonging to any community outside of their immediate family. What this means in practice is that vigorous efforts are made to find a family that reflects the child’s individual identity. Given the profile of prospective adopters, this is not always achievable. In these instances, social workers will have to make a decision about when to consider alternative families in order to minimise delay for the child. Children would then be placed with families that best match most of their needs, even if this means they are of a different ethnic group.
• Disabled people are not excluded and sometimes experience of disability will be positively welcomed.
• A single person, or one partner in an unmarried couple - heterosexual, lesbian or gay - can adopt. Since 30 December 2005 unmarried couples in England and Wales can apply to adopt jointly.
• For more information, see our advice note: Adoption - Some questions answered.

How do people apply to adopt?

They will need to go through an adoption agency. Some agencies are voluntary organisations (see the website of Consortium of Voluntary Adoption Agencies). Most are part of the local authority children's services (in England and Wales) or social work (in Scotland) department. You can find an agency near you in our agency directory or find your local authority or voluntary adoption agency's contact details in your phone book. People are not limited to their own immediate locality but most agencies work roughly within a 50 mile radius of their office. Although it is only possible to follow through an application with one agency, several can be contacted at this early stage.

How do people get approved to adopt?

It usually takes at least six months for social workers from an adoption agency to get to know prospective adopters, assess them and help prepare them for the task ahead. Confidential enquiries will be made of the local social services or social work department and the police. Applicants will be examined by their GP and will be asked to provide personal references from at least two friends.
The agency's independent adoption panel will consider a report on the application and recommend whether or not applicants should be approved as adopters who will be given the opportunity to meet the panel. You can read more about assessment and adoption panels in past issues of Be My Parent News & Features.

What if you don't get approved to adopt?

In England and Wales, if an agency is planning not to approve the prospective adopters, the applicants can make representations to the agency asking them to review their determination. In England, as an alternative, applicants can request that an independent body (Independent Review Mechanism) undertake this review and make a recommendation to the agency. In Wales there is the IRM Wales.
In Scotland prospective adopters can also ask for a review - and a number of the agencies have established robust procedures for doing this. For advice on this please contact BAAF's Scottish office.

How are approved adopters matched with a child?

After prospective adopters are approved, their agency will try and match them with a child. They can also enquire about children being profiled in Be My Parent and other family-finding publications, like Adoption Today and The Scottish Resource Network newspaper or in local media.
In England and Wales, agencies also refer prospective adopters to the Adoption Register for England and Wales which links waiting children with waiting approved adopters. The proposed match will be presented to an adoption panel who will recommend whether to proceed with the placement.

What happens when the child moves in?

The child will move to live with their new parent/s after a planned period of introductions, which lasts a few weeks or a month or two, depending on the child's needs. Social workers will remain involved to support the new family and the child at least until an adoption order is made.

How is adoption made legal?

There are certain minimum periods for which the child must live with the adopters before an adoption order can be made, or, in England and Wales, before an application can be made to the court. The precise details vary very slightly depending on the country concerned and the circumstances in which the child came to live with the adopters.
A birth mother cannot give consent to adoption until her child is at least six weeks old. Where birth parents do not agree, there is a process for the agreement to be independently witnessed. The detailed process varies according to the legislation of the particular country in the UK.
If birth parents do not agree to adoption, there are circumstances in which the court can override their wishes. Again the detailed process will depend on which country is involved. In many cases the question of consent will be considered by the court before the child is placed for adoption. A children’s guardian (England and Wales) or a curator ad litem (Scotland) or a Guardian ad litem (Northern Ireland) will be appointed by the court to investigate and give advice to the court on the child’s best interests. In some circumstances, it will be necessary for the question of consent to be considered when the adopters actually apply for the final adoption order.
For more information see our advice note Adoption - some questions answered.

Should children be told that they are adopted?

Yes. Children should be raised knowing they were adopted. Adoptive parents should give appropriate information to the child from the time the child is little and as they grow up. BAAF's book, Talking about Adoption to your Adopted Child, and our advice note Talking about origins provides much more information.
Adopted children identify with their adopted family but also have their own identity as an adopted child. Some children may need to ask questions to understand what has happened in their life, especially if their adoption brings them into a new culture or environment. This can be the same whether the child is adopted at birth or as an older child. As adoptive parents you can positively influence how your child feels about their identity. Find out as much as you can about your child's background, or culture, and encourage them to talk openly about this part of who they are. Confusion or questions about who we are come up for most of us at some time in our lives. Appreciating your child's identity and positively tackling issues as they come up will help your child understand that they should acknowledge and be proud of who they are. 

Do birth parents and other relatives have any contact with their child after adoption?

It is common for there to be an exchange of written information, perhaps once or twice a year, via the adoption agency. There will be unique arrangements for each individual child which may mean direct contact for some children with various members of their birth family, including grandparents and brothers and sisters who may be placed elsewhere. Sometimes there will also be contact with birth parents - if this is best for the child.

Do adopted children want to trace their birth parents?

Most adopted children are curious about their origins, but this doesn't mean that they don't love their adoptive parents. Since 1975 adopted people in England, Wales and Northern Ireland have had the right to see their original birth certificate when they reach the age of 18 (in Scotland the age is 16 and this right has existed since legal adoption was first introduced).
Some people are satisfied with the fuller knowledge and understanding gained in this way, while others want to try to trace their birth parents or other family members. For more information, advice about searching and your feelings about this see our advice note Talking about origins or visit the Adoption Search Reunion website www.adoptionsearchreunion.org.uk.

What about adopting from abroad?

Often people hear about the distress of children in other countries and want to offer to adopt one of them. But children's best interests are not necessarily served by being adopted away from their own countries, their culture and their extended family.
BAAF's Advice Note on Intercountry Adoption, covers the procedures, legal requirements and where to obtain further information. The Intercountry Adoption Centre can also offer help and advice. Their number is 0870 5168742.

What about adoption by step-parents?

Sometimes step-parents want to adopt the children from the previous relationship of their new partner. If this happens, the child's legal links with their absent birth parent and wider family will be broken. Alternative ways of settling the child's situation may be better for some children - see BAAF's Advice Notes, on Step children and Adoption in England and Wales and Step children and Adoption in Scotland.

My child has been or is going to be adopted. Where can I get help?

The Family Rights Group provides advice and support for families whose children are involved with social services. Visit www.frg.org.uk
The Natural Parents Network is a national contact and support organisation for birth parents living with the memories and feelings surrounding the adoption of their child. www.n-p-n.fsnet.co.uk/ Call 0161 287 8737.
You also might like to order If your child is being adopted and Pregnant and thinking about adoption? from BAAF's Advice Notes series. Both of these are largely targetted at families who consent to the adoption. If you don't consent to the adoption, you should get legal advice as soon as possible.

I am an adoptive parent. Can you advise me where to get support?

Adoption UK was founded by adoptive parents to offer support, information, advice and encouragement to prospective and established adopters. Call the Helpline on 0844 848 7900 10am to 4pm (answerphone at other times) or visit www.adoptionuk.org.uk for more information. You can read a wide range of adoption-related features in Adoption Today magazine which comes free as part of the Adoption UK membership package.
CASA is another option. It is a group of independent Adoption Support Agencies (ASAs) who are registered under the Adoption and Children Act 2002. They provide support services to all parties affected by adoption or long-term fostering throughout the UK.
This article was kindly provided by The British Association for Adoption and Fostering